the dirty thirties...

today i was frantically looking my closet for a sweater i wear to work all the time. John had just went through last Sunday and organized all our clothes. As i was sorting through I found a dress. A dress from my favorite birthday party. It was my first birthday with John (only weeks after we started dating) all my friends threw me a suprise JERSEY SHORE themed party. We filled the top of stella blue before 1am with JUST my friends. It was magical. So I looked at this dress, then I got super sad. That dress was so small..... it wouldn't fit me now... not by a long shot. Here is a picture...

yep that dress looked cute. sigh.... another prime example of my cuteness is this, the picture the first night i met john....


I have decided I am going to get back in that damn dress by the time i turn 30! My old faithful trainer Jim taught me the skills. 2 a day workouts and WW are going to be my life until January 12th.

I weigh in tomorrow at WW for the first time. I am going to get crazy, start a running regimine, mixed with Rocky Dancing, and another daily workout I can do this. I want to average 4lbs a week. I want to be constantly moving. I will walk on breaks, walk peaches after dinner everynight and eat healthy meals.

I will turn 30 looking great again... and be healthy enough to have a baby.

wish me luck!

marriage....

So... i would like to take a minutes to discuss the 3 months of marriage. First of all nothing relationship-wise seems different. John and I are still silly goofy in love. Our first month of marriage seemed pretty normal. By early August things started getting a bit crazy. I began having these horrible dizzy spells. I had had them somewhat after the honeymoon but they got progressively worse. I was nauseated, tired, cranky, and dizzy almost everyday. I wasn't myself i was upset and uncomfortable. I made an appt with my doctor but didn't get in for a week then he sent me specialist to specialist and finally I was told i had Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo. I had a procedure called and Epley done and a week later I was cured.

John and I decided around July we were going to jump right on the baby train... we were TRYING to have kids. I went on vitamins he started wearing boxers all the time.. serious stuff i know. I was CONVINCED the beginning of Sept I was pregnant. Like so certain I started getting these bursts of baby joy. I found out I was not and I got very upset. I was in a funk for a few days. The following weeks we had some pretty bad money troubles. It seemed after the wedding we couldn't catch back up. It was like a constant drowning feeling. Add in my student loans are again due, medical bills, and us not in saving mode anymore and tired of being frugal paying for wedding. MORE PRESSURE! Then John ended up in the ER with heart and breathing problems a week later. I left work in tears two times in two weeks.


So I guess things have gotten better in a week since the ER scare. John is doing better. We are moving to a house, 2 months of which we are splitting rent with my cousin who will be our roommate, we are catching up on our bills, and i asked john if we could cool the baby stuff till after i turn 30. (reason in next blog)

john and i love each other more than ever. we had our first big fight. it was over going to the movies. it was nice in a way.. made me feel like we might be (sort of) normal. we have a good future in store. I hope the next three months are bit smoother. I hope we don't see doctors for a while other than our basic check ups.

Next up: we move! BYE BYE APARTMENT!

i got married

Well, i neglected this blog for most of my engagement. but i decided to come back to share my life post engagement. which is seemlingly more calm and boring, which is why i will have time to blog, but it will not be at all interesting.

so my dress. I lost a total of 20 scale pounds before my wedding. not at all what i wanted, had i ordered my dress in one size small i would have had to alter it to fit. 2 sizes smaller it was still too small. my mother and i decided two weeks prior to the wedding to get it corseted. let me say the corset was the best touch of the dress. it was amazing.

my wedding was also suppose to be outside but it rained.. rained so much. so we had it in the art gallery of the springfield art association. it was still pretty just very crowded and not rehersed in the art association.. but still so beautiful. here is a link to the the pictures so far
wedding!

i had more fun that night than anyother night of my life. it was perfect. and there is a video soon! which i can't wait to see!

when john and i got back from mexico we decided we were both going to quit our jobs and go back to school fulltime in the fall and work part-time. i filled out my financial aid and nothing... no money for me in independent loans... (i only checked with salliemae which i have two previous school loans through) and lincoln land wouldn't have information on my loan until august so i would have to make a payment HOPING to get other loans.

so i was bummed. what am i suppose to do? i still don't know. john and i are staying at our jobs. i applied for a promotion i do not expect to get, and i am continuing to look for better paying jobs. i haven't given up on school but maybe this is the powers that be telling me... concentrate on family making and careet second. i don't know what the future stores. we might be moving to a house in december.. we might stay in our apartment if that works out.

i am however going on a new diet so when we do decide to make a family my body is ready. so it has been fun being lazy and gaining weight the past month..but its time to head back to the gym, detox my body, and start taking vitamins again. i needed a break from the stressful stuff... the stuff that consumed me for a year... but i am ready to be responsible again, figure out what the sivaks should do next.

so journey ahead, detoxing and auditioning... for rocky horror.. with my husband... eeek.