clomid. a love, hate realtionship.

I read all the reviews on clomid right after Dr. G prescribed it to me. I read that it made you irritable and have hot flashes. TRUE. I was an emotional mess. And... it did not work. My friend who went on clomid got pregnant the first month she tried and is due in October. I was hopeful.. but after testing with ovulation kit for about 20 days and no positive response I figured that it was safe to say it did not work. I called and spoke with the nurse and we are trying clomid for 3 more month. Each month I have to call and check in. I was at work when I called since my Doctors have the same hours. I then went to the bathroom and cried for a minute, gained my composure and went back to work. After having a crying out burst in the middle of olive garden when a friend asked me about having kids. I decided I was going to try to be more level headed. Continue to say WHEN and not IF we have a baby. realize if it takes three years it takes three years. if it does not happen we will travel. I do not how far I can continue with fertility treatments. My first visit with Dr.G was not even covered and it was just a check up. My medication is not covered either. We are not wealthy people. I've told myself already we won't be able to see a specialist. I guess... we will just have to keep waiting.. and praying. And stay positive. We are already so blessed with so many babies around us. So many cousins, neices, nephew, friends. I will just hold them and love on them in the meantime.